Bracket. Tournament. Ball. Basket. These are words that we have all heard a lot recently leading up to the appropriately named “March Madness.” Personally, I don’t understand all the fuss: Why do JBS students and faculty subject themselves to extreme emotional upheaval in determining whose bracket prediction is the best or which team will come out on top?

In actuality, the answers to these questions are quite simple. As dictated by basic algebra, the round brackets (parentheses) will dominate the lesser [square brackets], {curly brackets}, and <angle brackets>. Even on the keyboard, the keys for round brackets are located towards the very top of the keyboard, above the weaker symbols.

Also, regarding the college teams, it is absurdly difficult to take the contenders seriously when their mascots look like obscure stuffed animals — for example, Syracuse’s rotund “Otto the Orange,” or Providence’s terrifying “Friar of What-Ho” (look it up; I dare you). And why are there five teams that call their mascot “the Wildcats”? More importantly, how on earth will Zac Efron’s Troy Bolton get his head in the game and differentiate himself from this plethora of similarly categorized basketballers?