Typical Summer for a JBS Student?


A rising JBS senior “relaxes” over the summer as he attempts to prove Riemann’s Hypothesis Courtesy of MRS. BAHE

Evan Williams , Reporter

Summer. For most, this means lounging in bed until three in the afternoon—and binge-watching How I Met Your Mother, but for Burroughs students, summer takes on a different meaning, as the time when the ambitious can truly shine. Curious as to how rigorous this summer would be for our students, I took to the halls to find out.

I discovered that Burroughs ambition has reached a point bordering on the absurd, with one rising senior saying of their summer to-do list, “It’s not much, I know, but I plan to scale Mt. Everest, then ski back down the Khumbu Icefall route. Maybe then colleges will look at my application.”

Convinced that this was merely an extreme case of overwrought ambition, I questioned a rising freshman wandering the halls of the Brauer Building, believing they couldn’t possibly be taking on the same Herculean labors as the upperclassmen. “I’ll be taking every class for the first time over the summer,” said the student, struggling with the weight of his backpack, “the drudgeries of the academic offseason just aren’t enough to stimulate my overly-active mind. I have an IQ of around 190, scored a 36 on the ACT in the third grade, and have verbally agreed to attend Stanford. I haven’t faced any challenging curriculum since learning the Greek alphabet in the womb.”

Ambition isn’t merely limited to academics, though, as Bomber athletes have chosen to dedicate their summers to athletic achievement. A rising junior plans to summer in Siberia in order to master curling techniques in preparation for the 2018 Winter Olympics in Seoul. The junior explains her decision as two-fold: “First, it’ll be interesting to learn all about the friction between the ice and stone. I’m hoping that, after first-hand experience, I might understand physics. Secondly, I figure that being an Olympic athlete will help me with college. It’s pretty specific — world champion in curling — but there won’t be many other high schoolers with that hook.”

Thoroughly intimidated, I decided to conclude my investigation in the Theatre Department, hoping their idea of summer rigor would be a slew of public improv performances, and perhaps a celebratory, light-and-sound-heavy open-mic night. Well, as it turns out, the thespians have their own ultra-intense version of summer, as was relayed to me in the form of a dramatic monologue by rising junior—Aidan Taylor, who said of his theatrical plans, “Summer? What is summer if not a time to re-memorize all of Shakespeare’s work? To be frighteningly ambitious, or to not be successful? That is the question.” Detecting a trace of horror in my eyes, Aidan quickly reached into his bag, and, pulling out a copy of The Complete Pelican Shakespeare, offered, “You can borrow my third copy if you want.” Thanks, Aidan, but this summer, I’ll be relaxing.